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The first step towards getting professional care can be a big one. If you are in the position where a loved one would really benefit from extra support, and you want to persuade them to get home care, then understanding their hesitancy is crucial. For some people in need of care, the thought doesn’t cross their minds that they would be entitled to support. Others may put it off for a variety of reasons, from financial worries to personal fears.
If you know someone who you think would benefit from home care, you may wish to approach the subject with them and support them to organise a care needs assessment.
Ultimately the choice to receive home care or not lies with the individual. They have the right to refuse home care and ask care workers to leave their property or refuse them entry.
If you have a Lasting Power of Attorney for health and care decisions, you can enforce this only when and if your loved one no longer has the mental capacity to make decisions about their care, as confirmed by a doctor.
Understanding why your loved one is reluctant to receive home care
If your loved one is resisting home care, the most crucial thing is to listen.
All concerns they have are valid, even if the concern is based on something that’s not true or seems trivial. Understanding why they are against getting home care is the first step to supporting them.
Some reasons they may be resistant to home care could include:
Wanting to remain independent
Many older people find not being able to live as independently as they once did very difficult. They may try very hard to prove that they are completely capable of all the same things they could do when they were younger.
They may have the mindset that home care will mean being told what to do, but home care is actually intended to support them to be more independent. If being strong and independent, or being somebody who cares for others, is part of their identity, this could be a factor too.
Protecting their privacy
Having a stranger come into your home can be nerve-wracking for people who are used to living quite a private life.
There may also be a deeper reason why your loved one is protecting their privacy. They may be embarrassed about things they are struggling with, such as keeping their house clean or personal care. They may even have secrets that they don’t want you to find out about, such as alcohol dependency.
Financial worries
Your loved one may be concerned about funding care or be unaware of the financial support they may be eligible for. In some cases, they may be able to afford it but feel guilty about spending their next of kin’s inheritance.
They need to know that they are worth spending the money on, that their health and happiness is more important than inheritance.
Tips to persuade them to consider home care
Learn about care together
It’s just as important for your loved one to learn about care as you, so researching care options together is a fantastic way to ensure that they feel involved and respected, while addressing any concerns they may have.
Choosing the right time to discuss care can be vital. They may only be willing to consider it when they are struggling but be against the idea once they are feeling better. However, they can be stressed or upset at times when they are struggling, so it is better to talk about it when they are feeling calm, and stretch it out over a few weeks.
Address their concerns through research
It’s advisable to learn about what home care is all about and address their concerns before looking at particular home care companies. This can take the pressure off and stop them feeling pushed into a decision too quickly. Remember to make sure they know you are only advising them to look into home care, not forcing them.
Our advice section has articles that can address a lot of the concerns they may have.
Some recommended reading:
- Paying for care at home
- Types of home care
- Care plans explained
- What to expect when you start receiving home care
Find out what care they could receive
Once they are aware of what’s available, you could look into what home care they personally could receive.
- Research home care providers in your area and request more information. You can find all home care providers local to your loved one, or those who can provide the specific type of care they need, through the care search feature.
- Meet with your GP. They can give you further advice specific to your loved one’s needs, and leaflets or contacts for local organisations that may help.
- Start small. To ease your loved one into receiving home care, and see how it helps them and how they like it, you could begin with a couple of half-hour visits per week. If they adjust well and would like more, you can increase their quantity of visits or length of time visits last.
If you need support as their carer
Many people find themselves in the position of becoming an unpaid carer for a loved one. If you have not been able to persuade them to get home care or other professional support, you may feel stressed, fatigued or angry.
If you are looking into home care for your loved one because you are struggling to support them yourself, you can seek support and advice from home care providers you are interested in or organisations for carers.
Helplines
- England telephone: 020 7378 4999
- Scotland telephone: 0141 445 3070
- Wales telephone: 029 2081 1370
- Northern Ireland telephone: 02890 439 843
Find your nearest support service here.
Email: familyline@family-action.org.uk
Telephone: 0808 802 6666
The line offers free, confidential advice and is open 9am-9pm Monday to Friday. They also have crisis support put of hours, text FAMILYACTION to 85258.
Respite care
An option for unpaid carers is to arrange respite home care through home care providers. Respite home care is when professional carers take over your care duties for a few days to give you a much-needed break.
This may be right for you if you need a break from your care duties and is a practical, non-committal way to introduce your loved one to receiving home care.
There are also organisations that provide respite or holidays for carers and the person they care for:
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