There are certain signs you should look out for that will show your parent needs extra care and support at home. As people age, they become less mobile, their vision and hearing can deteriorate and they may develop health issues.
However some older people are fiercely proud of their independence and will resent being dependent on others and may conceal the fact that they are struggling to cope. They may not want to tell you they are finding it difficult to do things they used to take for granted like washing and getting dressed.
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At a glance
- Changes in appearance: Poor hygiene, dirty clothes, weight changes or a generally dishevelled appearance can suggest that an older person is struggling with everyday self-care.
- Watch behaviour and memory: Withdrawal, mood changes, confusion, missed medication or appointments and difficulty following conversations may indicate that extra support is needed.
- Check safety around the home: Unfinished household tasks, clutter, unopened mail, reduced mobility, falls or unexplained injuries can show that living independently is becoming more difficult.
- Arrange an assessment for support: If home care appears necessary, contact the local authority for a care needs assessment followed by a financial assessment to establish suitable care and possible funding.
What are the signs your parent needs home care?
If you are unsure whether your elderly relative or friend could benefit from home care, look out for the following five signs that may suggest they are finding some everyday tasks more difficult.
Changes in appearance
Changes in your loved one’s physical appearance or personal hygiene may suggest they are finding some aspects of self-care more difficult and could benefit from extra support.
Changes can include:
- Poor personal hygiene
- Unpleasant body odour
- Weight gain
- Weight loss
- Dishevelled appearance
- Hair not brushed
- Untrimmed nails
- Dirty clothes
Changes in behaviour
If your relative or friend has recently been bereaved and lost their partner, they may be suffering from loneliness.
Loneliness has been found to be as damaging to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, with social isolation causing higher blood pressure and stress as well as triggering overeating and alcohol consumption.
Loneliness can also affect people’s mental health and is linked to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and sleep problems.
Changes can include:
- Being withdrawn and quiet
- Losing interest in activities which they once enjoyed
- Reluctant to see family and friends
- Getting confused and agitated about things
- Sleeping more than usual
- Mood swings
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Memory loss
You may notice that your friend or loved one is skipping meals or forgetting to take medication they are on or that they are struggling to carry out day to day tasks that they did effortlessly previously. Memory problems can have different causes, so new or worsening changes may also be worth discussing with a healthcare professional.
Other signs include:
- Repeatedly forgetting names
- Getting disorientated in their own house
- Finding it difficult to follow conversations
- Missing important appointments
- Putting items in illogical places
Unable to do basic household tasks
You may find your family member or friend who is normally very tidy and house proud starts to let the laundry pile up and stops cleaning the house. This may be due to mobility issues or they may simply forget to do it or they may just find the whole thing too overwhelming.
Look out for:
- Excessive hoarding
- Unopened mail
- Urine odour that may indicate incontinence
- Dirty plates and cups
Reduced mobility and falls
Some people experience changes in their mobility, balance or eyesight as they get older, which can increase their risk of falling.
If you are concerned about their safety at home, it may be time to talk to them about whether some additional support could help. You can also look around the home together for potential trip hazards, such as loose rugs, clutter or furniture that makes it difficult to move around safely.
They may not want to tell you they have had a fall as they might not want to worry you. Or they may be anxious they will lose control over their lives if they seem unable to cope.
So keep a look out for:
- Bruises
- Burns
- Marks on their bodies
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What are the next steps if home care is needed?
Once you have identified signs that your parent or loved one needs extra support in the home, you should contact your local authority and get a care needs assessment. This will determine how much care they require and what level of care they need.
Once the care needs assessment has been carried out, the person needing home care should get a financial assessment to see if the council will contribute to or pay for their care.
Home care providers tend to offer a whole range of care packages from just a short visit to give medication to longer visits to prepare food and even take the person out on trips to their local café or park.
If you decide to look for home care so your parent can get some care and support to help them continue to live at home, this article on Finding home care and questions to ask may be useful.
homecare.co.uk has over 100,000 reviews of home care providers. These can be invaluable when choosing a home care company.
Next steps
- Have an open conversation: Gently discuss your concerns with your parent and ask how they feel they are managing. Talk about whether some additional support could help them stay safe and independent at home.
- Apply for council assessments: Contact their local authority’s adult social care team to request a free Care Needs Assessment and Financial Assessment to evaluate support requirements and check funding eligibility.
- Research local care options: Explore rated care agencies in their area (using platforms like homecare.co.uk) to compare short visits, daily care packages, or companionship options that suit their routine.
FAQs
How do I find home care if my elderly parent can’t cope any more?
If there are signs your elderly parent can no longer cope independently at home, you will need to get a care needs assessment done by a local authority. Following this you will need to get a financial assessment done to see if the council will pay towards your care. To find a home care provider look on homecare.co.uk.
What are the signs that someone needs home care?
Look out for signs your loved one or elderly parent needs home care. These signs include changes in behaviour and appearance, memory problems, reduced mobility and falls and inability to do basic household tasks.
How do you know when people need home care?
As people age, they will often need extra support and help at home so they can continue to live independently. Some will resent being dependent on others so will do their utmost to conceal the fact they can’t cope so it is important to look out for tell-tale signs.